4 Letter Word

Love. I have never experienced love. Of course, I have my family. They love me and I love them. But I mean the real love. The love all girls dream about. (Dreams like picking out a beach home with your husband, while wearing matching sweaters.) I've never loved another person. Granted I'm only fourteen. So really, I'm to young to know what love is. Yet, I want it. I see "couples" all around my school holding hands and saying they love each other. But they don't know what love is either. They think it's someone you can go to the movies with, and maybe share a kiss. But, I do know, those couples really don't have love. Real love is like the love my parents share. I am still envious of the couples though. I want someone to hold my hand. Someone to take me to the movies. And I still want it, knowing that it is not real. It baffles me. You would think I wouldn't want that. Girls get their "hearts broken" by the boys they used to go out with. And the girls are so bitter, they end up hating the boys and then they go around bashing them behind their backs. But some reason still, I want this. Knowing all too well, if I some how get it, it will most likely end badly. I practically crave it. But why do I desperatly seek this? I honestly can't say. I roll my eyes when I see couples at school, being all mushly. I'm like "C'mon, you can't seriously be IN LOVE with this person?" Though, I'm still jealous. What does it take for me to get someone to want to be considered my boyfriend? But maybe I should just be content with my life and what I have. But still, I want it.....

What The Heck is a BFF?

I met my first best friend in kindergarten by raising my hand and yelling excitedly in front of the class "Who wants to be my friend?" Not a second later did a girl jump up and respond "Me!" This girl and I live less than 4 minutes away from each other, we attend the same school, and are in almost every single class together. We probally say a total of 150 words to each other each week. When we were younger, we promised each other we would be at the other's wedding. I highly doubt that we will stay in contact when we go off to college. So I'm asking, what the heck is a BFF? Is it someone you exchange awkward smiles with in the hallway? Someone you go shopping with on the weekend? I have people I do both these things with. I wonder sometimes, "Will I call this person a friend in a year or so?" "Is this someone I'm gonna take with me to help pick out my wedding gown?" My parents had "best friends." My father's best man was a guy my dad was very close to, yet I have never met this man. He doesn't come over to our house on Sunday and watch football with my dad. My mom has had better luck with "best friends." She stays in touch with a few people from her youth. This doesn't offer me much hope with staying in touch with friends when I am older. Even today, I'm wary of this one friend who I can't say we will be close when we grow up. I want to very much stay in touch with her. We made plans to get matching tattos when we are old enough. But I still feel insecure. We have gotten into little fights recently. I'm probally just being a worry wort, but this is one friendship I value. I've considered her my BFF. And visa versa. I'm just skeptical if we will continue holding those titles for each other. So really, what is a BFF? Can you really have a best friend forever?

Human Robots

If you think about it, we're all robots. Of course not like R2D2. But we are robots. We go day by day, doing the exact same thing. Wake up, eat, going to school, eat, go home, eat, watch some TV, eat, go to bed. And we do this every day! Some might eat more than others or sleep more. And when you get older, school turns into work, but still. It's like we are all robots being controlled by remotes. I think the real heroes in our society are the ones that make something special of their lives, the ones that break up the monotomy of it all. The ones that jump off cliffs or wrestle alligators or skip down the sidewalks with a hobo by their side. I honestly believe we all would be happier people if we did something bizzarre everyday. Brush your teeth with soda or go to school wearing a Superman cape! People will for sure question your sanity, but isn't it worth it? You get to look back on that day and say "That was unique. I bet that will never happen again. I wonder what I'll do tomorrow?" You can't say that if you're a robot. Robots say "Well, today was like all the others. I woke up, ate, worked, ate some more and went to sleep. I know what I'll be doing tomorrow." I personally think it's sad. Us robots do the same thing day in and day out. Then we die, but at least that's something you don't do everyday! And I didn't want this blog to be about advice, but I would suggest that everyone do something crazy everyday. Life is too short to live the same day twice. (I stole that from a movie, so don't quote me.) I'm qulity of robot-ism myself. I should stop preaching and actually get out there and sing christmas charols in the middle of July on a street corner. Just so i can have the satisfaction of sayin to myself "Well, I doubt I'm ever gonna do that again."

Insperation?

Why not write a blog? Sure! I have free time! I have nothing else to do! I don't have any other way to use my time!....not. If I were to say I have no other way to spend my time, I surely would be lying. I'm a regular teenager. 14, female. I have friends I could be texting, or statuses to be posting on Facebook. Right this minute I'm typing and watching TV and checking email. So why take on a blog? I don't know. I would like to think this blog is bigger than just a girl typing on her laptop, upstairs in her room. But truthfully, I doubt it will be. Even if I were to get readers, who would those readers be? A few overly emotional teens, with too much time? I bet if my sister were to read this, she would roll her eyes at my attempts at mature writing or trying to be witty. Do I hope this blog gets turned into a book? Or a movie like Julie & Julia? No, I don't want that. Of course I would love to become famous and rich, but I think I would want fame by other means. But I do have thoughts. They may be dramatic and totally random, like myself. But still, I want to write them down. (Hopefully this doesn't sound too melodramatic or cliche), But Hopefully, I might descover what my life is. Who I might be. What I might make life to be. What the world really is like. Or maybe, I'll descover life just doesn't really need to be figured out.....